Pluto's Dark Humour

Lizanne Hanks Author

I was abducted by Dark Lord Pluto today. He lured me to the underworld with the promise of treasure but instead I was met by the foul stench of decay!

A rumble with Pluto is eviscerating. He know where all the bodies are buried. He knows every shameless deed and shameful thought we’ve locked away. He knows the source of every festering wound, every secret desire and every mortal fear.

Pluto often conceals rot and trauma for years. Then suddenly, when we least expect it, he rips away the curtain and strips us bare.

Pluto makes mountains out of molehills, and nuclear explosions out of tiny fractured subatomic particles.

Pluto rules corruption, filth and power. He is associated with death, criminality and putrefaction. Ganglords, demagogues, bullies, and degenerates are his agents. So are psychotherapists, morticians, plumbers and sex-workers.

Pluto rules the bowels: his work is purgative, excretory and cathartic.

Astrologers often use the word transformative to describe the work of Pluto. And it’s true even if it is a euphemism. The kafkaesque changes wrought by Pluto may be healing but the Dark Lord has a terrifying and sadistic bedside manner.

Pluto is no joke, but this story is actually pretty funny….

On the day in question, I ventured into the cellar to get something from the freezer. It’s a bit creepy down there, but useful for storage.

I casually descended the stairs, trying not to remember that someone once hung himself from those very rafters.

The freezer is in a dark corner of the cellar so I flicked on the light switch and threw open the lid. Omg. What was that stench? For a moment I just stared, deer-in-headlights style.

It took a moment to register what had happened, but only a moment. The foul odour of rotten flesh soon revealed all.

I slammed the lid shut, gagging, and stumbled away from the carnage. Up the stairs. Into the light. Heart pounding, head spinning.

I needed to breathe. But wait, I sniffed the air in my kitchen. (I have a legendary sense of smell) Did it follow me up? Was it wafting through the heating ducts?

I flung open the windows and lit a stick of incense. What was my next move?

If that brief exposure could turn my stomach inside out, how could I face the wretching prospect of emptying the contents of the entire freezer? Worse, how could I allow that odiferous entity loose in my house, my haven, my sanctuary?

I needed a plan.

I had two strong young men in the house but I wouldn’t ask my worst enemy to assist with that mess. Still, they might help in another way.

I taped the freezer door shut with duct tape and opened the outside cellar hatch. The guys held their breath and valiantly carried the freezer up and out of the cellar. Hooray!

It’s outside now, covered in snow. Hopefully the contents have frozen again so that when I open it, on garbage day, the cold will have neutralized the smell.

I’ve got heavy duty garbage bags. I’ve got a mask. I’ve got a shovel. I’ve got bleach.

Astrology makes everything meaningful - even the bad stuff. We call it “astrology good.” Even as I was experiencing this horrorible mess in my basement, I was chuckling inwardly at the wry symbolism of this situation.

Pluto had just moved into my place of home and family. This crypt in my cellar had been concealing death and decay for weeks and only now had the rot been exposed. I could almost see Pluto winking at me, reminding me not to take myself so seriously.

I still have some purging to do but it’s not nearly as bad since the problem has been brought out into the light and fresh air.

No doubt Pluto has many more painful and putrid revelations in store for me. For all of us. But this incident taught me three things:

1. You can’t purge something that’s not in your awareness.

2. Our problems are far less daunting when we expose them to light and air.

3. Astrology rocks!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and any Pluto stories you have to share.

Peace my friends,

Lizanne ⭐️

Categories: : Astrology and Psychology, Concealment, Dark Lord Astrology, Death and Rebirth, Exposing the Rot, Greek Gods, Meaning and Purpose, Pluto in Astrology, Revelations, Rot and Decay, the Shadow, The Stench of Death, Zodiac Signs